no wire hangers!

14Apr12

what constitutes as abuse? these days that is kind of a touchy topic.

to me, abuse is defined my control and intent. if a woman is spanking her kids with a hanger, and the hanger breaks, that is not necessarily a bad thing. but what if the woman is screaming while she spanks said child, and literally cannot stop until the hanger breaks? then she grabs the child’s hair and pulls it, shaking the child’s head back and forth?

the former is corporal punishment. it can be executed in a very calm and controlled manner. the latter is abuse.

i am unfortunate enough to have recieved the latter. however, i try to be optimistic about it. though it means i know jack about punishing kids properly, i know what not to do. i know to never let myself get so upset i lose control, and i know what doesn’t work.

unfortunately, we won’t be able to test this theory until i have kids of my own. i hardly want them to be guinea pigs.
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my mother is very ‘no wire hangers’ joan crawford. she might not seem so on the surface, but you have never been stuck in the house with her. for weeks on end.

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3 Responses to “no wire hangers!”

  1. It’s been hard for me to plead emotional abuse to some people. A lot of my past partners were very verbally abusive and controlling but yeah, no mark and people won’t take you seriously.

    Luckily you can take parenting classes and all that if you ever need too. I know my parents took some when my sister and I were “out of control” and they didn’t know what to do.

    • Oh, thank god. Those will be needed I’m sure, if I ever have kids. I worry too much about ending up like my mother, it is almost ridiculous.

      Agreed on the abuse topic, entirely. It is okay to refer to it as ‘ abuse’ after the fact because most people won’t ask for details, however, in my experience. Emotional abuse is very real, and I think more damaging than physical because no one notices, and dhs is less likely to get involved (when children are involved).

      • Even when I was having a refresher on the different types of child abuse for work we only went through sexual, physical, neglect…I feel like there might have been one more….work would be so happy to know that I’d forgotten lol It’s seem to be hard for people to grasp emotional pain in general but how can I be expect to throw away 6 and half years of emotional abuse just because things have been better for a little bit?


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