the impermanence of it all


“it is a curious thing, the death of a loved one. we all know that our time in this world is limited, and that eventually all of us will end up underneath some sheet, never to wake up. and yet it is always a surprise when it happens to someone we know. it is like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark, and thinking there is one more stair than there is. your foot falls down, through the air, and there is a sickly moment of dark surprise as you try and readjust the way you thought of things.” – lemony snicket

today we tribute a man who loved john deere tractors, loved farming. a grandfather of 5, step-grandfather of 2. he had a sweet tooth – there was little he did not enjoy eating.

i had the pleasure of meeting m in august of 2010, when i began working in home healthcare. he was the father of the woman i work for. as she lived with her parents, i got to know him well. there are so many stories i could share about m. he was so funny, with a dry sense of humor. i would never be able to do him justice.

last night, only hours after leaving their home, i got the news; he died suddenly that afternoon. we do not know how yet he died, but m lived with multiple sclerosis for forty years. maybe his body just gave out.

his last meal was a cookie from a batch i made the other day. there were two more sitting at the desk, where they found him slumped over. they are still sitting there, as if we all have a silent understanding that we can’t move them.

because that would make it too real.

the viewing is tuesday evening, the funeral wednesday morning. i am not sure i want to go. i think i would rather remember him the way he was, not stiff, pale, in a casket that we don’t have time to paint john deere green.

goodbye, m. i really enjoyed knowing you. you made my life shine just a little brighter. duh.



3 Responses to “the impermanence of it all”

  1. Sad but true

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