here comes the anxiety


on may 1st, i made the mistake of looking at my stats. i saw someone found my blog by searching for something obscene and illegal; i panicked, and deleted the blog.

anxiety causes me to do irrational things. there is nothing obscene or illegal about this blog. if the cops knocked on my door about that person’s search leading to the blog, it would be regrettable, but it wouldn’t take long for them to realize what happened.

eventually i calmed down and felt regret. as it turns out, i didn’t really delete the blog. all is well.

it did make me consider changing the name of the blog. when i started it, i thought it might focus more on moving to new york than it does. this blog is so much more than that. it is about inspiration, recovery, passion, imagination, and my city. I think the name “forget regret” fits so much better – what do you think?

the experience was good practice flexing my ‘don’t give a shit’ muscle. let’s do it again sometime – now i’m ready.

then harold perrineau responded to one of my tweets, and i got a little starstruck for the first time in my life.

harold perrineau matrix

my face looked like this

10 Responses to “here comes the anxiety”

  1. I think everyone at one time or another questions their blog. I have questioned the name of my blog, what I was writing about, did it all seem to make sense to the reader and so on. Stay true to you and I promise all will be well. Things will evolve and you will start to relax a bit more. All the best. Your blog is great!!

    • Thanks! It’s a comfort to know. I didn’t start out to get an audience, so getting 40-odd views a day made me question done stuff. Please tell me you’ve had your blog found by weird search results, too? :p

      • Yeah, but these won’t be your dedicated readers. You’ll find that the people who stick around really like your voice and what you are sharing.

      • thanks! i am taking your word for it!

  2. I recently was wondering if I should change or refocus my blog. I meant for it to be about overcoming mental health stigma and I feel like I don’t always do that but instead talk to much about my stuff….but then I remind myself that, that’s the best way to do it!

    It’s you blog! You talk about whatever you want! :p

    • Haha, thanks. And I don’t think you are too random; you focus on a couple similar topics, which is great. You usually post a couple times a day; if it was only about the stigma, you might run out of things to say!

  3. 9 Katie

    Hooray for your wonderful new resolve! I do love the “Forget Regret” phrase. I hold onto far too much regret and I’m sick of it creeping up on me at any hour of the day. Now I will take some deep breaths and let myself forget it.

    • Sorry for reminding you of it all! Regret is good sometimes, it’s why we have it. Mine can just get irrational and out of hand!

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